Tsk, Tsk, Tsk...

[Ow! Stop poking me with your sword!]
Ahem. Sorry, I was just being attacked by [ow! I mean it!] one of Seana's invisible teddies, whom you may have seen (or rather not seen) running around on her blog.
What was Seana's invisible teddy doing here? Why it was delivering...
A GUEST POST *dun, dun, dun....*!
As you may or may not know, Seana came tied with Destiny Skye in my fabulous contest. The prize? Her very own guest post!!! But before I begin...
Seana,
There is an invisible teddy that appears to have escaped from your blog and is now running loose around mine. Please come and get it as soon as possible, as I do not know how many more sword pokes *wince* I can take.
Thank you,
Hermione
Alrighty then, let's get this show on the road.
Ladies and gentlemen...
It is with great pride I present...
The (tied) winner of the 2012 first ever Everything Hermione contest...
SEANA J VIXEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*APPLAUSE*
*LOUD CHEERING*
*I GET POKED WITH THE INVISIBLE TEDDY'S SWORD AGAIN*

I'm a writer. This means I take caffeine and turn it into a form of entertainment that people stare and giggle at.

It's intimidating, I admit that. Other people are reading this outside of the blogosphere I call home. Reading. Pressing their noses against the computer screen and reading every little thing I have to say, wiping their noses occasionally on their sweater sleeves.

Now I've always wondered where people come up with bizarre ideas that seem impossible. Yes, let's pluck that man over there and send him up into a freezing atmosphere in a giant puffy suit that looks like the Michelin Man and stick him up on a giant crater-filled rock we call the "moon." Yes, yes. And while we're at it, let's make a movie about an out-of-control ape who captures innocent ladies and practices his rock climbing skills on a building. It's brilliant!

And then I saw an equally odd idea.

You know when you paint your nails, and then scratch your head before they're dry? They end up smudged, aye? I was seeing if there were other solutions to this problem than adding another coat of polish. One website suggested that I either a.) lick my nail, or b.) lick my finger and use that to fix the smudge.

I find this odd.

"Oh, no! My nail polish is smudged! Whatever am I to do?!"

"NEVER FEAR! MY TONGUE IS HERE! *lick lick* All better! *grin*"

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Tongue! You're my hero!"

"Happy to help, citizen!"

First of all, does this actually work? The website claims that the saliva mixes with the paint and acts as a smoothing agent. ...Right. Second of all, if the paint is still wet, wouldn't your tongue get covered in paint? Not exactly sanitary, is it? And if you use your finger, you WILL end up with a fingerprint on your nail. I speak from experience. Do not doubt my expertise in the enterprise.

Although, I do wonder if the person who came up with that tip was a bit scrambled in their attic. Too much exposure to garden gnomes can do this to a person.

So will you try licking your nails next time they smudge? Or are you like me and think that you'd rather stick another coat on there than go for the drool-all-over-the-place attempt?

Thanks again, Hermione. (:

Cheers,

<3 Seana